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Writer's pictureLaura Gainor

Marriage was a trap, but is it now?

How Metternich Used a Marriage to Take Down Napoleon


Metternich, a clever politician from Austria, was a master at playing the long game. He knew that Napoleon, the powerful ruler of France, wanted to be seen as a true king with a royal family. Napoleon wasn't from a royal family, so he felt insecure about this. Metternich saw a chance to use this insecurity to Austria's advantage.


Despite Napoleon sending his own sister to have an affair with Metternich to gather information, Metternich was able to fool Napoleon.


He pretended to be Napoleon's friend and subtly encouraged Napoleon's desire to marry into royalty. Napoleon fell for Metternich’s plan and married Marie Louise, the daughter of the Austrian emperor. Napoleon thought this marriage would make him look more powerful and respected. However, Metternich had his own secret plan.


The marriage gave Metternich the perfect opportunity to gain Napoleon's trust and learn his secrets. He used this knowledge to weaken Napoleon's power bit by bit. For example, when Napoleon invaded Russia, Metternich tricked him into letting Austria rebuild its army. Napoleon thought he was getting help from his new Austrian family, but Metternich was actually making Austria stronger so they could later fight against Napoleon.


Metternich was like a spy pretending to be a friend. He carefully waited for the right moment to strike. After Napoleon's army was weakened by the failed Russian invasion, Metternich revealed his true colors. He joined the other European countries against Napoleon, and together they defeated the French emperor.


Metternich used the marriage between Napoleon and Marie Louise to manipulate Napoleon and ultimately bring about his downfall. The marriage was a key part of Metternich's plan to restore Austria's power and create a balance of power in Europe.




In this case...


Marriage was a trap. It was a ploy made to play on Napoleon's weakness.


The Evolution of Marriage


Historically, marriage has undergone a significant transformation, shifting from a primarily pragmatic arrangement to a union based on love and personal fulfillment. For centuries, marriage served as a means to preserve power and ensure social stability. The ancient world saw marriages as strategic alliances to forge political ties, acquire land, and produce heirs, with women having little say in their marital partners.


The church's influence during the Middle Ages further solidified marriage as a sacred institution, emphasizing procreation and discouraging romantic love as a basis for marriage. The concept of marrying for love gained traction during the Enlightenment and Industrial Revolution, as individual autonomy and happiness became increasingly valued.


Marriage in 2024


Marriage used to be like a starting line for adults. You grew up, got married, bought a house, and had kids, usually in that order. But nowadays, marriage is more like a finish line that people cross after they've already accomplished a lot of other things. It's like a big reward after you've finished school, gotten a good job, and are feeling financially secure.

The 20th century witnessed a dramatic shift as women's rights movements championed gender equality within marriage, and the advent of effective contraception allowed couples greater control over family planning. This evolution ultimately led to the modern understanding of marriage as a personal contract between two equals seeking love, stability, and happiness.


The data tell us that more people are waiting until their 40s or even older to get married, and some people are choosing not to get married at all. That's because things like paying for college, finding a steady job, and buying a house have become much harder than they used to be.


The sources also show that marriage has become kind of like a luxury item, something that only people who are already doing well can afford. Think of it like wanting a fancy car or a big house - you need to have enough money to buy them first. And just like those expensive things, marriage can bring lots of benefits, but it can also be really hard to keep up with the "costs" like making sure you have enough money and putting in the effort to keep the relationship strong, especially when kids come into the picture.


This means that people who don't have a lot of money or education are less likely to get married, and if they do, their marriages are more likely to end in divorce. Some people even think that the government should help make marriage more affordable for everyone, like by providing more support for families and making sure everyone has a good job.


Why Don't People Want to Get Married?


Getting married is a really big decision, kind of like choosing what you want to be when you grow up. It's not something everyone wants to do anymore.


One reason is that some people are scared of what might happen if things don't work out. One person said, "I was married before. I found out the hard way that you can't necessarily trust anyone to prioritize your interests just because they vowed to." It can be scary to share your life and money with someone and worry that you might lose it all if you get divorced.


Also, weddings are super expensive! Imagine spending all the money you saved up for a new bike on just one party. One person said, "It's also that weddings cost so much money. Spending $20k on a single day? No thanks." That's a lot of money.


Another reason is that some people have seen marriages that weren't very happy, and they don't want that for themselves. "I've never seen a marriage that I've thought, 'I'd like me one of those, please,'" one person explained. It can be sad to see people you care about fighting or getting divorced.


Times have changed a lot, too. "American women are the most fortunate people who ever lived on the face of the earth, can do anything they make up their minds to do," explained Phyllis Schlafly, a famous activist. Women have lots of choices now and can have successful careers without getting married. They don't have to depend on a husband to take care of them.

Plus, people can live together and have a family without getting married. It's like sharing your toys with a friend without having to give them away forever. Some people like having that freedom.


So, there are lots of reasons why people might not want to get married anymore, but let's look at the trade-offs of having a society without a life together as the norm.


Five Consequences


  • The top 10% of men will be less incentivized to get married, yet will receive a majority of attention.

  • Step-parents in the home make children 100 times more likely to be abused (Diary of a CEO).

  • 92% of single-parent households are women

  • Men are dying from suicide and risk-related deaths at a rate of 4:1 to women

  • We are in a society where sex preceding commitment has become the norm.


Two Benefits (but they're big ones)


  • It's easier for women and men to leave abusive relationships

  • It's less stigmatized to leave a partner who is cheating



Marriage was a trap, but now, it's a luxury item. In our modern world, I hope we are able to encourage more marriage, while still holding space for people who need to leave exceptionally difficult situations without judgment.


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