Some of you know I have career experience in human behavior and I've always loved psychology, and lately me feed has been full of it. The other week I was on Tik Tok and saw a video by Oxford PhD student Macken on the “Medium ugly myth” and it got me curious about if women actually prefer medium ugly men. So if you want to know more about the science of attraction, and the sour truth as to why women might want medium ugly men, keep reading.
What do people say?
The term has been around for a few years, but it seems like people are still talking about it. Here’s a clip from upcoming actress Coco Jones on medium ugly men.
She said “I don’t have a type. Me and my friends do say we like ‘medium ugly,'” It’s important to note medium ugly doesn’t mean these mean aren’t good looking. In Coco’s case she just means she does like a guy with a ‘prettier’ face and she implies that medium ugly might be another way for saying more masculine.
What does science say?
According to a study conducted by Psychology Today, women are more attracted to men who have a good sense of humor, intelligence, and creativity, rather than just physical attractiveness. In fact, average-looking men become more alluring when women sense the man has an imaginative spark.
Another study found that women are actually happier with less attractive men because medium ugly men compensate. They found that in instances where the man was less attractive, he was likely to compensate for his lack of attractiveness with acts of kindness like presents, sexual favors, or extra housework. This made women happier and feel more appreciated, therefore strengthening the relationship.
It’s also possible that some women prefer “medium ugly” men because they are less intimidating or less likely to cheat as Macken suggested, or because they say they don’t like super attractive men because they can’t get them. So according to science, maybe you should date medium ugly men if you want to avoid being cheated on because they have less opportunity, or if you want to feel more appreciated, and you might think you like medium ugly men because they’re your type, but the truth is super attractive men are hard to get and this can influence your perception.
What do I think? (warning, opinion at the end!)
Attraction is important in any romantic relationship, but in my research I found looks tend to matter more when couples aren’t friends first. If you have physical criteria on who you want to be with long-term, you’re not ready to date. It’s one thing to want to be attracted to someone, that’s necessary, but it’s another to have requirements like someone being medium-ugly, or to have hair, or to be a certain height.
It seems like there's contradiction on what medium ugly actually means.
There might be a gap between why people think they want medium ugly men vs. why they actually do
Attractiveness to the general public doesn’t equate to long-term relationship success, and after reading all the evidence, I’m not going to waste extra time looking for a long-term partner at a certain calibre of attraction, and neither should you!
Cheers,
Laura Mai
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